Burn, baby Burn (Notice)

“Michael, what is going on here?” — Madeline Westen

I’ll tell you what, Madeline Westen — Burn Notice is back!

In case you’ve been asleep these past few years, Burn Notice has been sizzling up USA Network, and returns for part two of its second season on Thursday, January 22nd. Now, I don’t know about you, but when did USA become the network to watch? From original series to those acquired, new episodes to crazy rerun marathons, USA has quickly become a default channel for me when nothing else is on.

But that’s for another post at another time. Why should you care that Burn Notice is back? Not that I think that any of you would pose such a vulgar question, but I’ll provide you with an answer nonetheless: Michael Westen.

Ah, a spy burned. First of all, how do you cut off an employee while he’s in the middle of an undercover deal in hostile territory? That beginning to the series sucked me in permanently. Although it irritates me every time the opening voice-over intimates that Michael’s been stranded in some random place; he’s from Miami, so all his particular clandestine government agency did was send him back home. And, once home, Michael finds that many of the pieces of his life that he thought he had left behind have in fact been waiting years for his return. Particularly his mother, Madeline (Sharon Gless). And his mom is not someone you want to keep waiting. Man, that woman is annoying.

Yet Michael (the tremendously amazing Jeffrey Donovan) takes it all in stride. No matter who he’s pretending to be in a given episode, what leads he’s chasing down to find out who burned him, and what messes he’s getting his buddy Sam (Bruce Campbell) out of, he always has time to stop by and help his mom with her seemingly constant household appliance problems. As wild as some of the conceits can get on the show, what’s great is how well Donovan plays to character, always able to handle everything with a smile and a quick comeback line. It’s a shame he hasn’t been given bigger stages to shine on yet in his career. But he will.

In addition to Sam, Michael’s ragtag crew includes his ex-girlfriend, and former IRA operative, Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar). I think I’m one of the few people who preferred the Irish accent she employed in the first episode or two. Now she just sounds like any other whiny terrorist. The writers have begun to expand her character, which I think has been a bit of a mistake (gun trafficking and boyfriends don’t really suit her), but as backup and foil for Michael, Fi is great. Sam, on the other hand, offers just the right amount of levity to most situations that the group finds itself in. His problems with his lady friend are just what the doctor ordered in the middle of a dangerous stakeout.

As to the premise of the show? I just hope it doesn’t end up consuming more and more of our attention. Michael already spends a fair amount of time chasing down lead after lead; any more, and I fear that Burn Notice could devolve into a conspiracy theory show, rather than the excellent light fare that it is. While the cast of characters who’ve come out of the woodwork in Michael’s quest for answers have certainly been entertaining, I much prefer the way in which Westen applies his government-crafted spy-craft to wage war on what, to him, must be no more than petty thieves and hustlers. And those spy tips? While maybe not so useful, they’re definitely priceless.

Although, allow me to leave you with a few tips that have unexpectedly come in handy for me recently:

• Airbags save a lot of lives. But they also put you out long enough to get your hands cable-tied to the steering wheel.
• Easiest way through a lock? Buy a can of screen duster, turn it upside-down, and you’ve got liquid freon. It’s cold enough to crystallize metal, and a hammer can take care of the rest.
• Having a gun to your head is all about timing; finding the right moment to make your move. Best to snap the trigger-finger first. After that, it’s mostly downhill.
• Clandestine meetings are never pleasant … It’s not so much the fear of death that bothers you, it’s driving to the meet with a bag over your head. Sometimes they wash the bag, sometimes they don’t.
• Air ducts in a modern office are 18 inches wide. So if you need to make a quick escape, and you’re older than four, you won’t fit.
• If you want to empty a building, pulling a fire alarm is useless; no-one pays attention unless they’re actually on fire. A bomb scare next door strikes the right balance; everyone clears out and then pays attention to the other building.
• Jobs in agriculture are a convenient cover; makes it easy to explain your presence in the field and the boardroom; the only downside is, you might have to become an expert on chickpeas.

Don’t ask.

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Jan 21, 2009 @ 18:51 EST5EDT