Things that didn’t suck this week: Reality stars, ferry murders, duels and workouts

by Kona Gallagher

“Marshall’s getting ready to read a big ol’ magazine in the bathroom you share with him!” –Spencer Pratt taunts Marshall from the cover of a magazine on How I Met Your Mother.

The subplot on this week’s HIMYM of Marshall not being able to poop at work wasn’t really all that funny to me. However, I want to commend the writers for finding an interesting way to work in guest stars. Ever since Britney Spears came on the show to drum up ratings, people have grown increasingly cynical regarding HIMYM‘s guest stars. So when the news broke that reality TV villains Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were going to guest star, no one thought it was a good idea. However, having the pair along with Kim Kardashian appear on the medium in which they are the most comfortable — magazine covers — made for a couple of creative and funny scenes.

“And I slammed her head into the railing over and over and over again!” — a crazed teen recounts a ferry murder on Law & Order: SVU

This week’s episode of SVU was insane. A girl at an elite private school for gifted students went completely off the rails and brutally murdered her roommate on a ferry. The guest star who played the murdering teen, Sarah Hyland, terrified me. She was practically vibrating the entire episode and was just all around nuts. The best part, toward the end of the clip below, is when she confesses. Benson and Stabler’s reaction shots say it all: Bitch is crazy.

“That is stupid. I will use a sword and I will cut off your bare hands.” Dwight and Andy go over the terms of their upcoming duel on The Office.

Office fans have been waiting for this moment since last season. Angela has been cheating on Andy with Dwight for pretty much their entire relationship. First no one knew, then Phyllis did, then, during the Christmas party, everyone in the office found out about Dwight and Angela’s affair; everyone except for Andy. Now, finally, even he knows about it. So he and Dwight settle by having a duel — as men do. And by “men,” I of course mean Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.

“We need to get a workout before breakfast.” — Riggins and Lyla aren’t going to the gym on Friday Night Lights.

I don’t have DirecTV, so to me, Friday’s episode of Friday Night Lights was the season premiere. I’ve missed the Dillon Panthers, and I’m excited for them to come back (if only for 13 episodes). A lot has changed in Dillon over the summer, including the fact that Lyla and Riggins are together! For real; as in, they’re an actual couple. It will of course end badly, but I am nevertheless intrigued to see it go down.