Reality Clack – American Idol, The Bachelor, The Biggest Loser, Superstars of Dance

Ah, we’re finally into new seasons of reality shows! Well, the reality biggie American Idol doesn’t start until this week, but the madness is already here. As always, I contend that American Idol is more of a talent contest (or non-talent with some of the contestants) than what I’d refer to as a reality show. However, I’m overruled by the masses. It falls under the reality umbrella.

The Bachelor had its premiere last week with single father Jason Mesnick and a slew of women looking for love in all the wrong places. Okay, just one wrong place. I know the show has its fans, but I just could never get by the concept that they think they’re just going to love whatever bachelor is on for the season. Nothing against Jason, but it’s all about being on television if you ask me. That’s not love. That’s “I want to be a TV star!”

That was the week it was

Oh my. One of the first women booted off The Bachelor was a Jackie. Nope, it’s not me! Jason started off with 25 eligible “bachelorettes” and had to get rid of ten of them by the end of the show. Those odds don’t sound too good to me. After all, that’s not much screen time and, in the end, it seems much ado about nothing. If the women so desperately want to be married, there are more sensible avenues to pursue. Can you tell I’m not so keen on romance reality shows? Perhaps I’m just jaded and cynical. But I’m also not making a fool of myself on a reality show.

I made the mistake of watching The Superstars of Dance this week. I’m not a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars, but I enjoy So You Think You Can Dance and America’s Best Dance Crew. So I thought this was a possibility. Er, no. About the only redeeming value I can find in the show is that I learned how to pronounce “eight” and “nine” in Chinese. I believe it was Mandarin, but don’t quote me on that. The judges were bizarre and often surly although the Russian judge was a bit like a NYC taxi driver I encountered once — making jokes which were only funny to himself. The dancers, especially the groups, tended to amateurish and out of sync. I’m glad The Big Bang Theory is new this week and I won’t watch this dreck again.

This week also marked the season premiere of The Biggest Loser. Do I watch it? Nope. If I want to see overweight folks crying and sweating, all I have to do is look in the mirror, … er … walk down the city street. Yeah, that’s what I meant to say. I’m actually too thin to be on the show, but I’m not America’s Next Top Model material. No, I don’t want a TV husband either! Give me Amazing Race! Give me Survivor! Hmm … I think I’m sounding crabby this week. I don’t mean to be. Once my own personal favorite reality shows return, perhaps I’ll be perky and full of sunshine and lollipops once again. Or not.

Yet to come

I missed the premiere of True Beauty (Ashton Kutcher related) last week. So, Monday at 10 PM ET, I’ll be checking it out on ABC. Maybe it will soothe my tortured soul to have beautiful people get torn down for their evil ways. It’s all about the inner beauty. Sure it is. Have you seen it? What am I in for?

The big event is the return of American Idol. There will be two two-hour shows this week on FOX, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Since the dynamics of Paula, Randy and Simon have grown on me, I think I might be watching how the new judge (Kara DioGuardi) changes things up this season. If she doesn’t impress me, I just might have to keep count of how many times Randy calls females “dude” as well as how many times he says, “check it out” and “dawg.” I’m good at advanced math. I should give it a shot. Hey, maybe we can make wagers on it!

Until we meet again, it’s been real if not necessarily reality.

Clacked by Jackie Schnoop
on Jan 12, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT