Dear Network Suits,
Did you ever see Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels? Go with me here. There’s a scene where a bunch of the bad guys are locked in a security cage, and being shot from the rafters. The leader, finally fed up with the situation, bellows out, “Could everyone stop getting shot?!” It’s a great line, and that’s kind of how I feel when I hear yet another network tagging a promo with “produced by Ashton Kutcher.” Could everyone stop ordering these crappy shows?
Granted, Punk’d did well for MTV, and Beauty And The Geek had some marginal success. But that’s doing well on cable, and marginal success on WB/CW. And even if not for the grading on the curve which that entails, was it the kind of success to lead to five network shows?
BATG was followed up by The Real Wedding Crashers for NBC, which managed five episodes. ABC was on the hook next, getting seven episodes of Miss Guided for their trouble. Not to be deterred, they went ahead and bought in to Opportunity Knocks. That one got three episodes on the air before the network shelved it to run recaps of DWTS. Three shows, totaling fifteen episodes?
And now, the latest installment is Game Show In My Head for CBS. It premiered over the weekend, bringing in just 3.38 million viewers and a 1.1 in the demo. Sure, you could argue that the network didn’t do the show any favors, premiering it on Saturday night. Not even 4 million viewers though? That’s bad. And doesn’t give anyone much confidence that the fifth time is the charm.
But wait … just like a late night pitch from Ron Popeil … there’s more. Tonight, ABC goes to the Kutcher well again, premiering True Beauty. It’s going to have a big showdown with the Ryan Seacrest train wreck, Momma’s Boys, over on NBC. It’s like the exact opposite of the Grey’s/CSI Thursday night battle. Does anyone really think Momma’s Boys or True Beauty actually have a shot at a second season?
Is it just me? Or does none of this make any sense? Put on your programming caps and riddle me this: Given the choice, would you sink any of your development dollars in the next Ashton Kutcher production?
Finally, for those of you that haven’t managed to see Lock, Stock yet, here is the referenced scene. Beware of language, violence, and those crazy UK accents.
Good talk,
Brett
P.S. Charisma Carpenter in a bikini. That makes us me watch every time. Run with that.
Clacked by Brett Love 
on Jan 05, 2009 @ 13:30 EST5EDT
