As you probably know by now, the bright bulbs over at NBC have decided to give up on programming the 10 PM slot with new scripted shows. Instead, they will be giving Jay Leno, a man that they tried to kick off of the network not too long ago, a five-night-a-week gig during that time frame. Needless to say, people are confused and angry about this, with much of the anger going to NBC head mugwug Jeff Zucker.
So, in order to honor this momentus decision by Mr. Zucker, I decided to put together a little ditty sung to the tune of the famous “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” To Albert Hague and Thul Ravenscroft, I apologize.
You’re a sore loser, Mr. Zucker.
I mean really, what’s the deal?
You’re as intelligent as a boulder,
with a black heart that doesn’t feel.
Mr. Zucker.
You couldn’t run a network
Unless you had five nights of Deal or No Deal.
You’re a baby, dear old Jeff.
You didn’t want Leno to go.
Despite telling him he was fired,
And giving Conan the Tonight Show.
Mr. Zucker.
I consider that type of action
lower than the lowest low.
You’re a cheap one, Mr. Zucker.
Your 10 PM shows are done.
The pilots are in the trash now
Which isn’t very much fun.
Mr. Zucker.
Given the choice between Jay and scripted shows on other networks,
I think your viewers will run.
You’re so stingy, dear old Jeff.
You blame it on no dough.
So long to all the dramas
They won’t be long to go.
Mr. Zucker.
The three words that best describe what you should do now,
are, and I quote: “Please. Just. Go.”
You can’t take it, Mr. Zucker.
Your network is going dim.
With reality shows by the loadful
And your revenues very trim,
Mr. Zucker.
Your choice of Ben Silverman to program the network
has been so disgraceful and deplorable
That I’m surprised,
You haven’t picked up According to Jim.
So good-bye now, Mr. Zucker.
And I’m sorry I am so crass.
But us viewers just won’t take it
And we’ll leave NBC enmasse.
Mr. Zucker.
Hey, when you’re taking the last box of stuff out of your former office,
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.
Clacked by Richard Keller 
on Dec 10, 2008 @ 12:03 EST5EDT
I hope Jay Leno tries to get horrible ratings just to screw NBC! :)
I see it going…
Monday – Chuck and Heroes
Tuesday – Law and Order
Wednesday – Deal or no Deal
Thursdays – “Comedies”
Friday – Doesn’t matter, it’s the death slot
Sunday – Football
Stupendous drawing as usual Bill!! Great work!
I don’t plan to switch over to watch Leno in that timeslot unless there is absolutely nothing on any other channel.
If you have cable, satellite, DVDs or a DVR, you should be able to find something else to watch at 10 PM! If not, you could always…read a book! Wow, what a “novel” idea! If moving Leno to 10 PM gets more people to read, then this could be a good thing!
The clients of NBC are not the TV viewers but the corporations that buy advertising and Madison advenue is quite happy with the decision. Jeff Zucker is doing what he needs to do to keep is job.
In 2005 the reasoning with the Conan nomination was to avoid a repeat of the Carson/Leno/Letterman saga. Even know The tonight is number 1, by not giving the job to Letterman they gave CBS a chance to create a late night franchise for the first time. FOX and ABC had both made offer to Conan. If Conan had accepted an offer, The Tonight Show would have been in a 3 man race, not necessary in first place.
Leno, by changing his minds, put NBC in the same position. Zucker did what he had to do.
Leno should learn how to retire gracefully with an absolutely ridiculous amount of money for the rest of his life. What a baby.