My hopes were really high when I saw that John Malkovich was hosting this week. I remember his hysterical monologue from when he hosted in 1993. It consisted of him trying to hit a baseball into the audience, but he never made contact. As he kept missing he kept swinging harder and harder and getting angrier and angrier. Does anyone else remember this?
The thing about Malkovich is he is super creepy, but obviously has a good sense of humor about himself (I think Being John Malkovich proved this). So… How did the episode play out? Let’s find out….
Cold Open: Welcome back Amy Poehler. It was good to see Amy as Hillary Clinton, even if her impression is just mediocre. Accuracy aside, her Hillary Clinton character is usually very funny. The “reflection” on Sarah Palin was hilarious. Darrell Hammond must be so excited that Bill Clinton is hanging around the zeitgeist; that’s job security.
Monologue: They certainly leveraged Malkovich’s creepiness for the monologue, and I thought it worked. Malkovich harassing children is comic gold.
Gas Right: Oh dear.
Office Birthday: This skit started a little slow and went on a little too long, but there were some laughs. As usual, they came via Kristen Wiig. Just one question: haven’t we moved past diarrhea jokes as a society? If not, can we?
Barack Obama Keeps it Cool: Fred Armisen’s Obama impression is either getting better or I’m just getting used to it. Either way, I think his job is safe for the next four years. There were a couple chuckles in this sketch, but it wasn’t groundbreaking.
La Rivista Della Televisione: The big payoff in this sketch was watching Bill Hader do his John Malkovich in front of John Malkovich. Having Italian people eat meatballs is not funny. It’s just insulting.
Virgania Horsen’s Pony Express: One of the funnier digital shorts in a while, which isn’t saying much, I know, but it was pretty funny.
Calculator for Christmas: Was this even intended to be funny? I just don’t know what to say about this skit.
Musical Guest/T.I.: His performance seemed to last for, like, 5 seconds. Oh wait, that’s because I was fast forwarding through it.
Weekend Update: Seth Meyers had been doing just fine anchoring by himself, but it was good to see Amy back this week. I can’t get enough Plaxico Burress jokes and I’m always thankful when WU has unique guests. We were also treated to Fred Armisen’s Boy George discussing his wrongful imprisonment of a male escort. I thought it was funny, even if it dragged on a little on. Andy Samberg was the last guest as a nine year old who “knows how to talk to girls.” It was inappropriate and hysterical.
The Lost Works of Judy Blume: Look! One of the new girls got lines, after three weeks. She should be proud of herself. John Malkovich playing an awkward teenage girl is a genius sight gag, but unfortunately the skit fell a bit flat. OK, it fell a lot flat.
Jizz in my Pants: Premature ejaculation needed an anthem, didn’t it? How did they even get this on the air? I am so embarrassed to admit that I was laughing at this. I will hang my head in shame now.
J’accuzzi: Dangerous Liasons in a hot tub. Not much more to say about that.
Overall, not a bad episode. There were some great Malkovich moments, and as usual there were some squirm worthy moments. What did you think? Is Jizz in my Pants the new Dick in a Box? I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence….
Monologue: Malkovich is great because he is creepy and thats how this opening worked so well.
Gas Right: Well this proved Im immature since I laughed
Office Birthday: Sort of funny but I hope Wiig never does that Monroe voice ever again.
Cool: Armisan finally got the voice right but it wasnt a funny sketch.
Italian Talk Show: The Malkovich impression was perfect
Pony Express: Terrible
Calculator: What the fuck was this?
WU: Happy to see Amy back and Plaxico is very easy to make fun of. A dude going to jail for accidently shooting himself is just automatically funny.
Judy Bloom: Malkovich makes one creepy little girl
Jizz in my Pants: Love it
Also does anyone know whether the shots of the Christmas tree before going to commercial are shot the day of air? Because I was there an hour before the show aired and saw something that looked like a camera crane in the distance. The snow was blowing in my face so it hard to tell.
I was stunned to see one of the new girls actually have something to do beside be a prop and a face in the opening credits. Wow! Merry Christmas to her! What was the point of bringing in these new people if they’re not going to use them?!?! Loved Amy’s opening comment! And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Kristin Wiig is a genius! Who was the guy singing with Andy in the “Jizz in My Pants” short?
That Judy Blume skit was hilarious! For all those who have read the books and remember them fondly, this was an excellent spin. “When you think of a cute boy do you foam at the mouth and black out for a day?” Wonderfully creepy, quirky, creative and hilarious!
My god, they actually had the gall to book a guy who has the #1 and #2 singles in the nation!! The nerve on those guys! Hip hop hate is so fucking old. In case you missed the memo TI’s album went platinum in 8 weeks, and it debuted at #1. Listen to John Mellencamp on your Walkman and keep it moving.
I can’t sit idly by while I am accused of being a John Mellencamp fan! ;-)
Honestly, I fast forward through the musical guest just about every week. The show is so overbloated as it is, and afterall, I’m a TV critic, not a music critic. Probably a good thing I’m not because I had never heard of TI…
I went Mellencamp on you because he’s one of the few (relatively) classic rockers who I hate. Your comment was very spiteful in my head during my first reading of the post, but on second reading I see its pretty harmless. I’ve seen one too many O’Reilley segments on the destructive nature of hip hop, and I transfered that thought to you unfairly. Lo siento.
(Season 34, Episode 10)
Monologue: Malkovich is great because he is creepy and thats how this opening worked so well.
Gas Right: Well this proved Im immature since I laughed
Office Birthday: Sort of funny but I hope Wiig never does that Monroe voice ever again.
Cool: Armisan finally got the voice right but it wasnt a funny sketch.
Italian Talk Show: The Malkovich impression was perfect
Pony Express: Terrible
Calculator: What the fuck was this?
WU: Happy to see Amy back and Plaxico is very easy to make fun of. A dude going to jail for accidently shooting himself is just automatically funny.
Judy Bloom: Malkovich makes one creepy little girl
Jizz in my Pants: Love it
Also does anyone know whether the shots of the Christmas tree before going to commercial are shot the day of air? Because I was there an hour before the show aired and saw something that looked like a camera crane in the distance. The snow was blowing in my face so it hard to tell.
I was stunned to see one of the new girls actually have something to do beside be a prop and a face in the opening credits. Wow! Merry Christmas to her! What was the point of bringing in these new people if they’re not going to use them?!?! Loved Amy’s opening comment! And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Kristin Wiig is a genius! Who was the guy singing with Andy in the “Jizz in My Pants” short?
*POST AUTHOR*
I was wondering who that was too. I guess it’s one of Andy’s collaborators. You can check out their website here:
https://www.thelonelyisland.com/
That Judy Blume skit was hilarious! For all those who have read the books and remember them fondly, this was an excellent spin. “When you think of a cute boy do you foam at the mouth and black out for a day?” Wonderfully creepy, quirky, creative and hilarious!
J my pants was great too!
My god, they actually had the gall to book a guy who has the #1 and #2 singles in the nation!! The nerve on those guys! Hip hop hate is so fucking old. In case you missed the memo TI’s album went platinum in 8 weeks, and it debuted at #1. Listen to John Mellencamp on your Walkman and keep it moving.
*POST AUTHOR*
I can’t sit idly by while I am accused of being a John Mellencamp fan! ;-)
Honestly, I fast forward through the musical guest just about every week. The show is so overbloated as it is, and afterall, I’m a TV critic, not a music critic. Probably a good thing I’m not because I had never heard of TI…
I went Mellencamp on you because he’s one of the few (relatively) classic rockers who I hate. Your comment was very spiteful in my head during my first reading of the post, but on second reading I see its pretty harmless. I’ve seen one too many O’Reilley segments on the destructive nature of hip hop, and I transfered that thought to you unfairly. Lo siento.
No worries. If my point isn’t coming across it is ultimately a failure of my writing. I will try to be more mindful in the future.