America’s Next Top Model – Fierce Eyes

CW

(Season 11, Episode 5)

I was already a little burned out on Top Model before this season even began, but this episode was pretty good. I’m always kind of annoyed with the challenges, because even though they have cool prizes, the stakes are generally low. Either you get the prize or… you don’t. It’s not that big of a deal. This week, however, they decided to send someone’s ass home– and Tyra isn’t even there to decide who! It’s a world gone mad!

The whole gimmick for this runway is pretty stupid. The models are blindfolded, but apparently they can still see through them, which really lowers the whole death and dismemberment ante, which makes me sad. Hannah still walks like a broken scarecrow though, so she actually ends up getting the boot. I honestly couldn’t believe it. So rarely do my dreams come true so quickly or so easily. We’re only about 20 minutes into the episode and I’ve already been handed the best possible outcome.

This is a little off topic, but Hannah really reminds me of a cartoon character. I don’t know if it’s a specific character she reminds me of, or if she’s just cartoonish in general, but it bugs me so much.

I also liked the underwater photoshoot for a couple of reasons: one, I enjoy seeing Nigel in a pool talking about how eyes are the windows to your soul, and two, I love water challenges, because invariably, there is someone who can’t swim, or just generally reacts like a cat dumped in a bathtub. This go-around, the former was Joslyn, and the latter was Elina, and to some extent, a very double-sided tape-wary Isis.

The pictures this week were kind of lackluster. There weren’t any truly horrible ones, but very few seemed to stand out. My favorite of the week was Sheena’s, which is awesome because she’s one of my favorites in the house. Despite the fact that she had problems in the water, I thought Elisa’s picture actually turned out pretty scary and cool, although the judges weren’t impressed.

Analeigh’s picture truly disturbed me, not because it was a bad photo–it wasn’t at all. It disturbed me so much because I looked at her legs and thought that they looked a little big for model’s legs. Which, I’m sure her calves are the size of my wrists, so why on earth would I think that? I guess so many years of watching this show combined with the skeletal figures on the new 90210 have completely ruined my perspective, which is scary enough for someone like me, who is in her late twenties. I’m terrified to think about what a random 15-year-old girl thinks when she sees this.

Lauren Brie is another interesting case for me. The judges remarked on this last week, and it’s so true: she is so unremarkable when she stands in front of you, but she takes some damn good pictures. Hers was another favorite of mine this week. I also enjoyed Samantha’s picture, and I got a kick out of her at the bowling alley runway lesson. She just seems fun and goofy, and I hope using her bow legs as her secret weapon works out for her. The designer though? Not. A. Fan.

Due to Hannah’s very timely departure, we have a double-elimination episode. Therefore, Tyra has 10 girls and only 9 photographs. Here is the order in which the contestants received their photos:

Clark

Analeigh

Lauren Brie

Sheena

McKey

Marjorie

Joslyn

Elina

Samantha

Isis is out, which I agree with. The judges critiques of her are absolutely valid: she just disappeared. Her last few photographs have been lackluster, and transgendered or not, you can’t put the judges to sleep if you’re going to make it on this show.

Clacked by Kona Gallagher
on Sep 25, 2008 @ 10:18 EST5EDT