The new fall season kicks it into high gear tonight with no less than nine series or season premieres. With so many good shows on at the same time on Monday nights, I’m ready for the proposed staggered schedule to begin. Thank god for DVRs and online streaming. With the return of CBS’s comedy Monday as well as the much anticipated third season launch of Heroes, you’ve already got a big night of television. But that’s not all!
Heroes is hoping to rebound from a lackluster and strike shortened sophomore slump. This third volume, entitled “Villains” looks to up the stakes and possibly bring powers to previously unpowered fan-favorites (HRG? Suresh?). It’s a bit much to have a pre-premiere red carpet show for a drama show, but I guess NBC doesn’t really have any other major buzz shows to hang their hats on anymore, do they? And if Heroes doesn’t reconnect this year, the network could be in big trouble. Check out the full listings after the jump.
8/7 Central
- Premiere week kicks off on CBS with the season premieres of The Big Bang Theory. Leonard looks to become even more uncomfortable around Penny. Especially after their first date doesn’t go as planned. But we’re all watching for Sheldon, anyway. Just like we watch How I Met Your Mother for Barney. Is he really ready to admit he’s in love? And what will Stella say to Ted’s proposal? Mother’s new season kicks off as well.
- The alphabet counters with the new season of ratings juggernaut Dancing with the Stars, this time featuring the likes of Cloris Leachman, Lance Bass, Warren Sapp, Brooke Burke, Jeffrey Ross, Susan Lucci and Kim Kardashian’s ass, among others. The CW reaches out to younger women with an all-new Gossip Girl, featuring a new girl in school, which throws relationsihps in turmoil all over.
- NBC seems to think the new season of its super-powered sensation is the Oscars or something as they’re putting on a Heroes: Countdown to the Premiere special, complete with red carpet shenanigans. Or for sci-fi that’s an actual show, there’s always FOX’s Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Ratings appear to be a problem still, which is a damned shame as its turned into a great adrenaline rush show in its second season.
- If none of that sounds manly enough, BBC America is jumping into a new season of their car show Top Gear. Or at 8:30/7:30 Central, kick back with a cold one and watch the Jets take on the Chargers on ESPN’s Monday Night Football. Or just marvel at how terrible the coverage is on cable’s premiere sports network.
9/8 Central
- The junior year of NBC’s breakout hit of two years ago, Heroes roars into its third volume tonight. Just forget the lackluster second season and get excited about the villains, like Sylar, taking center stage. Especially after a dozen of them escape from the Company (no relation to the Company in Prison Break). Lots of big revelations and changes galore for a cast too huge to go into here, but I expect this two hour premiere to be the show of the night!
- So after you watch that you can check out Michael, Linc and the gang as they continue their quest to take down the Company (no relation to the Company in Heroes … I think). in a new installment of Prison Break over on FOX. It’s a shame that this show, which is really churning out a pretty damned good caper story in its fourth season is going to get clobbered by Heroes. Thank god for DVRs.
- The CW offers a famous musician dropping by to visit Peyton on a new One Tree Hill. Or, over on TNT you can watch Mark-Paul Gosselaar and company continue to butcher the legal profession in Raising the Bar.
- CBS’s comedy line-up continues with the eighth season premiere of Two and a Half Men, as Charlie encounters an ex with a very familiar looking son. Then, the series premiere of Worst Week, a show which I am repeatedly hearing is the funniest new sitcom of the season. In fact, the only negative I’ve read is people wondering how it can maintain this level of humor over a whole season. It’s a simple enough premise, guy tries to impress and win over girl’s conservative and strict parents. Cast Kurtwood Smith as her judge father and you’ve already sold me.
- Or if you’d rather alternative television, you can always laugh at the contestants humiliating themselves on VH1’s I Want to Work for Diddy, or for Vince McMahon on USA’s WWE Raw.
10/9 Central
- The fifth and final season at Crane, Poole and Schmidt starts tonight on ABC’s Boston Legal. James Spader and William Shatner are one of the best duos on television right now, and these cats make silly lawyering look good.
- CBS launches a new year of CSIs with CSI: Miami. Don’t worry, David Caruso isn’t going anywhere, but the investigation into who shot Horatio may hit closer to home than the team would like.
- The sleaze-fest continues on MTV with The Hills and My Super Sweet 16 Presents: Exiled. While still sleazy, I can at least applaud the second series by taking these spoiled little bitches and giving them a taste of the real world.
- VH1 offers up a couple of season finales with New York Goes to Hollywood and Luke’s Parental Advisory. But don’t worry, I’m sure they’ve got some other Emmy-worthy fare ready to go in this time slot for next week.
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