It started off very innocently. I’m trying really hard as a parent to weed through all the materialism of Christmas and to teach Owen to be thankful for the people in his life and ways to show these people how much he cares about them. Homemade food gifts come to mind, don’t they? They did to us too, so we went for it.
Against our better judgment, we opted to make Never Fail Fudge. Looking back, I’m not sure why, because we can’t eat it (way to much sugar for this health-conscious family) and I’d never made it before. Why I didn’t see that as a recipe for disaster must be blamed on the stress of the holidays.
Normally swearing isn’t something I do for effect (I can be funny and clever without the potty words!), but honestly — WTF is that?! It’s not fudge, that much I can tell you with confidence.
When I began the recipe, everything seemed to be going so well. Owen and I dumped the ingredients into the pot, doubling the recipe, of course, since we were going to package the fudge as gifts. We stirred as directed and everything blended together beautifully.
Since I doubled the recipe, I figured I’d need more than five minutes to get the brew ready to add the chocolate and pour. I was enjoying stirring and watching the changes take place. The smell was simply heavenly and it was slowly turning to a gorgeous caramel color … it’s supposed to do that, right? It smells and looked so amazing that I was sure I was doing everything right.
I had even read somewhere that the mixture needed to reach about 225 degrees, even 236 degrees on a candy thermometer to be ready, so I pulled out that trusty tool and felt secure and happy as I continued to stir.
After about 20 minutes, I began to get nervous, and I had every intention of trying the soft ball test, the problem being I had no idea what that is. Since I was in the “stir constantly” stage, I was too afraid to leave my pot and look it up on the internet. I tried asking the five-year-old. Yeah, don’t ever do that. On a good day, you’ll get something about NERF balls. Otherwise, you’ll get a funny look and the declaration that you’re being abandoned for The Super Friends.
So now I’m alone, stirring constantly and still not even to 180 degrees. Since I quadrupled the time, I finally decided to call it quits. My concoction was luscious, golden and ready, I was sure of it. I removed it from the heat and stirred in 2 bags of Ghirardelli 62% chocolate chips. This was going to be good … um, no.
Almost immediately, I got what you see pictured above. It was pretty much the hard caramel Krazy Krunch stuff mixed with chocolate chips. It was most definitely not fudge.
Now it’s clear to me I cooked the goop way past the soft ball stage, because the stuff stuck to the spoon hardened when I put the spoon down on the counter long before I removed it from the heat. I blame my inexperience and my candy thermometer, because clearly that sucker’s broken. I’d take it as a sign that I just wasn’t meant to give such a sugar-laden gift to anyone I loved, but I wasted 2 — count ‘em, 2! — packages of Ghirardelli chocolate chips … one just doesn’t get over a trauma like that in just a few short days.
I didn’t even change anything — maybe that’s the problem. I’m so used to cooking with healthy substitutes that when you give me some good ol’ granulated sugar, I don’t know what to do with it.
If there’s a moral to this story, there’s several:
Clacked by Debbie McDuffee
on Dec 21, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
