Join Debbie as she raves about whole foods, rants about chemicals and generally celebrates cooking and eating with fresh, local, nutritious foods. And sometimes she might get a little feisty….
Oh, coconut chocolate chip cookies, I am beholden to your beauty … your golden brown edges, your mountains of chocolate, your hills of coconut. You are divine. If only I could eat you….
But alas, you are filled with refined sugar, processed wheat flour, non-organic butter and everything else that I have worked so hard to remove from my diet over the years. You were not baked for me and my family, but for a bake sale. It was hard work, but I found a way to cater to the masses and save myself some money by baking with ingredients that haven’t seen the inside of my shopping cart for years. I hope someday I can come to terms with the fact that I’ve contributed to the poisoning of my town.
Here are some tips on how to ditch your healthy ways — and ingredients — and bake for people who don’t seem to mind — or maybe don’t know — that they are damaging their liver, blood glucose levels, insulin levels and risking cancer and heart disease….
1. Use regular flour. No one cares about your sprouted spelt flour, they really don’t (although I bought unbleached flour for the same price as white; there’s only so many concessions a gal can make!).
2. Resist the urge to cut the amount of sugar in the recipe by half. You can cut it down just a little bit; no one will ever know and you’ll feel better knowing that you poisoned the masses just a little less than you could have.
3. Akin to number one, just buy regular chocolate chips. No one cares about your precious grain-sweetened ones, especially in a recipe that stands on its refined sugar content.
4. Even though it has been said that if you can only buy one thing organic, it should be butter, since there is such a high concentration of pesticides in butter, even though that’s a scientific fact, even though pesticides can act like synthetic hormones in the body causing all sorts of cellular damage … I bought and baked with non-organic butter. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned. I cannot claim ignorance.
5. Save your local, free-range eggs for your tasty frittata or eggs over easy; buy the cheapest ones you can find. You won’t be imparting a high content of omega-3s to your cookie recipients, and they’ll probably get some unwanted antibiotics in the process, but you probably won’t go to Hell for it.
6. Make coconut chocolate chip cookies and chocolate chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies are best sellers at any bake sale, and it’s fun to have a variety of specialty cookies to offer your buyers.
7. Relax and have fun; it’s just one day and you don’t have to eat them… just bake them and raise some money for your good cause!
Clacked by Debbie McDuffee
on Jul 02, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
