According to Jim: the Brew Review, the conclusion

I promised the review of Land Shark Lager and According to Jim and I finally have time to set  down and do it. I don’t normally drink fancy beer like Land Shark because I can get a half rack of Old Milwaukee cheaper than a six-pack of this beer. So with the final episode of According to Jim on the DVR, a Tomb Stone Supreme pizza ready to go in the oven, and the six-pack cold in the fridge … here we go.

To start with, I had to search for a bottle opener to even open the beer. At least the cap does say to pry it off so I didn’t waste time trying to unscrew the top. Land Shark is bottled by the Margaritaville Brewing Co. It is a lighter beer than I normally drink. I tried Corona once and thought it tasted worse than fermented Buffalo piss. The Land Shark Lager has a very good flavor. It is light and not too filling. After the first one I am ready for number two.

This is really smooth beer. I have had Kool-aid that had more of a bite to it. The last time I had anything this good was when I was drinking Moose Head Beer in the Mangy Moose Saloon in Jackson Wyoming many years ago. I hope this project goes better than that night did. Two down and four to go. I am starting to feel the beer already. I have a good buzz starting and am feeling good. I am ready to move onto number three.

Popped the top on number three. Normally I am getting full after three beers, but this stuff is really good and I am not feeling full at all. I can easily chug half the bottle. I am half way into the six-pack and Enemy of the State is starting to look funny. This bodes well for Jim.

OK, I’m half way through bottle four and I am feeling very good. I was really worried about doing this post when I agreed to do it, but I am really getting into it now. I am starting to make comments I probably shouldn’t on Twitter. Perhaps Internet access is not a good idea while doing this post. Four down, onto number five. I am starting to get a little full. I am glad I did not put that pizza in the oven. I don’t think I could get through all six if I did.

Number five is open. I am feeling really good now, so I apologize if my typing gets worse. Not that it is ever all that good. Five bottles down and I am ready for the last one.

I am now on the last bottle of the six-pack. I am having some trouble with the keys on my keyboard so my typing is slowing down. I hope that my rambling makes sense to the readers. Just popped the top on number six and after I finish it I will give it some time to kick in before I begin watching According to Jim. I want to have the full effect of the beer before watching the show. I have finished the last bottle of the six-pack and actually wish I had a couple more. This is really good beer. I will have to get some more for my next BBQ to share with my in-laws.

So I am now watching the series finale of According to Jim. This episode is called “Heaven Opposed to Hell.”

The scene where Jim pretends to be excited over Dan and Andy’s news was still not funny. He still looked like a complete jerk that did not care at all about anyone but himself.

I still like seeing Dan Aykroyd, but the scene with him was not funny. He explains to Jim that they are both dead and that he has to check in with the guy at the gate. When Jim gets to the gate to check in and is red flagged he says, “Oh hell.” The gate keeper saying “potentially” was the first funny line so far.

The appearances of Lee Majors as God and Eric Estrada as The Devil was not funny. The attempts at jokes were not well written and the jokes did not make me laugh at all. The special effects when Jim opened The Devil’s gift bag were good, but his reaction did not make me believe there was really fire coming out of the gift bag. The choice of Andy to represent Jim and Dana to represent The Devil were still very predictable and not all that funny. The Devil asking how his baby was doing and rubbing Dana’s belly was really funny to me. I have always told my kids that I hope they have kids just like them and somehow I think a devil would be what Dana was like as a child. When Dana’s husband Ryan took the stand to testify and asked about the baby, Dana said “he was a little devil” and Estrada said, “Oh you are terrible” — that scene really cracked me up this time. Quick pause and break while I get rid of some of the beer. Please talk amongst yourselves until I return. Thanks.

When Andy called himself to the stand as a witness it was very disturbing to me. This guy has some serious issues with his mother fixation. I think he is the next Norman Bates if he does not get help. Jim taking over as his own defense seems like a good idea. I have to wonder why it is that early on in the show, whenever you saw Sheryl her nipples were showing through her top, which made the show much more worth watching, but now she is always wearing sweaters and other tops that do not show them. This episode would be much better with nipples showing.

On a side note, the Ashton Kutcher Nikon commercial annoyed me even more than normal while watching this. Can we please let him fade into obscurity and not have to see him unless we watch reruns of That ’70s Show?

The final scene of the trial when Sheryl and the rest of the family said they would go to hell to be with Jim was nice, but not really funny. And after Andy saved Jim by getting the shrimp puff he was choking on out and Jim spitting it on Dana was funny, but Jim deciding he would live forever because God didn’t want him and the Devil wouldn’t have him showed just how stupid Jim really is.

My assessment of the show? Overall, According to Jim is a better show when you have drunk a six-pack of Land Shark Lager, but it is still not all that funny. The jokes are still old retreads from much better acted shows and it still makes me wonder just how has this show been on the air for this long?

Now that the show is over, Bo is asking for dinner so I had better get something fixed for him. Wait — when did he learn to  talk?

Keith, thanks for the challenge of writing this project. I have really enjoyed it.

Clacked by Jeff Love
on Jun 22, 2009 @ 12:00 EST5EDT