Shock Top Belgian White – Brew Review

So I’m at by brother Eric’s place this past weekend for a party. Like everyone else in my family, he humors my beer snobbery by stocking decent beers like Sam Adams. Occasionally, though, he underestimates my thirst and, wouldn’t you know it, that supply he bought three months ago is gone! Now what the hell am I going to drink?!

Lucky for me, I’m an adventurous type when it comes to beers. So when I saw this weirdly labeled beer called “Shock Top” in my brother’s fridge, I thought “screw it” and gave it a shot.

First of all, let’s talk about the label. Look closely and you’ll see that the mohawked head is actually an orange wedge, as in the fruit. They give him shades and a mohawk so you feel cooler drinking it. What you don’t see in that image, though, is some small print on how you’re supposed to drink this beer:

The beer is best enjoyed in a tall, wide-mouthed glass. To serve the brew perfectly, follow these pouring guidelines. Pour the brew down the side of the glass until about one-half inch of brew is left in the bottle. Lay the bottle on its side and roll it gently back and forth, mixing the remaining yeast that has settled at the bottom. Pour the rest of the brew, producing a nice, thick collar of foam.

Who am I to argue? If I was going to give this beer a fair review, I had to follow the directions, right?

So, I’m carefully pouring this beer into a glass — a beer that has yet to prove it deserves such particular care, mind you — and making sure I don’t pour that last 1/2 inch of it out. And as I take the next step, rolling the bottle to and fro, everyone at the party is looking at me, thinking a) what an asshole, and b) how many more of these beers is he going to bother with this routine (spoiler alert: the answer is zero).

I poured the last 1/2 inch into the glass, and sure enough, it develops a “collar of foam” on the top of the beer … which dissipated within about ten seconds. For those who avoided my spoiler alert earlier, here’s the outcome: I will never do this ridiculous ritual again.

Now, the taste. The label is a good indication of what you get — a Belgian wheat ale, with a pretty strong orange flavor and scent in there. Again, as the label hints at, this is definitely a summer beer, one you can easily put down when you’re out in the heat of the day. I enjoyed drinking one of these, but when I was finished I knew I wasn’t interested in another; I really can’t put my finger on why.

So, Eric, if you’re reading this: stock back up on some Sammys or even those LandSharks we talked about you getting. Thanks for the Shock Top, but they’re all yours, buddy.

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Jun 12, 2009 @ 14:34 EST5EDT