As those of you that read my posts regularly know, I am a sensitive person. I care about and respect everyone and their opinions. When someone has an opinion that is different than mine I respect that and listen to their idiotic babbling thoughtful insight. When they say something mean I turn the other cheek and go about my business.The other day Kona wrote about her feelings on hunting and hunters. I read the piece and thought, up until the last line, it was a fair opinion. The last line was a slap to the face. Just because I have a couple of mounted heads on my wall does not make me an asshole or a serial killer. I turned the other cheek and said nothing.
But now that psychotic spawn of satan Kona has gone too far. Her latest post is the most vile blasphemy I have ever read. I can turn the other cheek when someone calls me an asshole, but I can not standby and let this one go. Vegetarian chili ? Every civilized society in the universe knows that the base ingredient in chili is MEAT. Chili builds off the MEAT. You can not put vegetarian porn fake meat in chili and expect it to be real chili.
Wars have been fought for centuries over whether there should be beans in chili, but everyone agrees there must be MEAT in chili. From Dallas to Seattle, from Tatooine to Ocherva, everyone knows that MEAT is the main ingredient in chili. Chili con carne literally means chili with meat. Vegetarian chili would be chili sin carne which literally means “It is a sin against nature to make chili without meat.” Chili sin carne is not chili. It is vegetable soup. Just because you put a few dashes of chili powder in your vegetable soup does not make it chili. Spice it up however you want, but it is just vegetable soup. You have not only insulted me, but the entire chili loving universe lady. How do you sleep at night?
Clacked by Jeff Love
on Apr 25, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
You’re funny! Love the picture.
Can’t wait for Kona’s response!
I am kind of let down that Kona hasn’t posted a comment to this article. I think it would be an interesting response if she has one, Love your humor but I do agree Chili needs meat or it is veggie soup or bean soup with veggies, Come-on Kona don’t let me down lets see what your thinking. Good job Jeff keep up the good work.
How do I sleep at night? I fall asleep to the soothing sounds of blood rushing unimpeded to and from my heart because it’s not clogged up with saturated fat, cholesterol, or any of the other lovely components of your chili con carne.
In fact, the other benefit of my chili sin carne is that I can also fall asleep easier knowing that when the zombie apocalypse finally happens (and make no mistake, it will), the dead cows and deer, and other hairy creatures will pass my house right on by, because I’m not the one who killed them in the first place, causing their current undead state and hunger for brains.
In conclusion: I hope you like being a zombie snack. Sucker.
P.S. For all your big talk, I bet you $20 that if you had meatless chili you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Deebopalula, Lorie, and Kona. Thank you for your comments. Kona I would like to point out a small flaw in your Zombie Apocalypse plan. Now correct me if I am wrong, but don’t you need a dead body to have a Zombie? I eat everything I shoot. No bodies left over. However, every winter some unfortunate furry creatures do die because some mean vegetarians ate all the food they needed to survive the winter. they will be the zombies. Who do you think they will come after? Don’t worry though. When the Zombie apocalypse comes you can come stay with me. I will keep the zombies from getting you. I always have room for a few zombies. Right next to the mashed potatoes.
Oh, what? Because I happen to enjoy eating chicken feed and then mocking them when they look at me with their beady little hungry eyes, now I’m the bad guy?
I’m not 100% on zombie rules, but I’m pretty sure mounted heads can reanimate and develop a hunger for the brains they no longer have. So you may want to sleep with one eye open.