30 Minutes or Less is, unfortunately, a crappy movie. I have to be upfront before I continue … I didn’t enter into seeing it with the expectation of being a fan. That being said, I didn’t watch Zombieland, a flick of a similar ilk, with the expectation of liking it either; and I’m a big fan. 30 Minutes takes a not-entirely funny premise, and mixes in, admittedly, some funny dialogue. A little bit of funny, though, isn’t enough to make up for everything else this movie does wrong.
Jesse Eisenberg is Nick, a down-on-his-luck pizza delivery guy who can’t seem to catch a break. He’s fighting with his best friend and roommate Chet, Parks and Recrecation’s Aziz Ansari. These guys both do a pretty good job with the material that they’re given. The movie, especially when it focuses on these two characters, is much more funny than it should be.
The major problems start with Danny McBride’s Dwayne, who’s trying to get ahead in life by kidnapping Nick and making him rob a bank, just so he can pay someone to kill his father. I understand that McBride has fans, especially those of his show Eastbound & Down; what I don’t understand is why. To me, he’s like taking Seth Rogan, pulling out all of the acting talent, and setting him loose on the world. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything he’s been featured in. His sidekick in the film, Nick Swardson’s Travis, just makes matters worse. If Dwayne is this incredibly stupid, what does that say about this hanger-on?
Part of my problem with the movie stems from the serious nature that is the film’s premise. Nick is kidnapped, and has a bomb strapped to his chest. His life flashes before his eyes; he realizes his job sucks, and that he’s in love with Chet’s sister Kate (Dilshad Vadsaria). Eisenberg plays these moments straight, and does a pretty good job with the drama. Unfortunately, these nuggets of drama are littered through the script, which is all comedy. There’s no change of pace; Eisenberg can be playing a moment of horror while Ansari is cracking wise. It might work in other movies, but it doesn’t work here. Don’t even get me started on the planned patricide that is the inciting incident for the entire heist.
What makes matters worse is the real life story that mirrors all to closely the events of the film. In August of 2003, pizza deliveryman Brian Douglas Wells was killed by a bomb while robbing a bank. While there are some differences in the two cases (Wells was “in on it,” but only to the point that he thought the bomb was fake, and trusted his “accomplices;” he was obviously mistaken on both counts). Everyone involved with the movie says they were unaware of the story, save the screenwriters, who claim to be only “vaguely” aware. Either way, it just doesn’t sit right on the stomach.
I don’t like writing reviews this negative, and like I said, it wasn’t all bad. There were some incredibly funny one-liners. Unfortunately though, not good enough to overcome the crushing weight of everything wrong. When the best part of the experience was the chuckle I got when I noticed a mother taking her five year old son out of the theatre (I think she even survived the first F-bomb laden scene before finally giving in), there’s not much else to say. I definitely recommend skipping this one, and catching it on video when you’ve already had a six pack to help dull the pain.
Clacked by Ivey West 
on Aug 12, 2011 @ 00:00 EST5EDT
